“Million Dollar Listing”: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

Over the course of the last four years, the lives of “Million Dollar Listing New York”‘s three classic stars — Cary Grant, Rock Hudson and Anthony Quinn — have intersected in endless ways. This latest episode highlights just how ensconced they really have become when the possibility of Fredrik and Ryan becoming peripherally related is explored.

And now the highlights recap:

E is for Emilia Eggs: Derek invites Emilia over to paint her abstract portrait and while she is there he and Freddie pose the idea of having her donate her eggs so they can make Milla, their would-be daughter. Looking like a deer in the headlights she tells them the query is extremely flattering but she’ll have to consult with Ryan. True to form, Ryan puts the kibosh on the idea, expressing dismay saying that he is surprised they asked without a “Dinner No. 2” or a date to “Six Flags.” He finds it distasteful that if she did go along, Fredrik’s child would be related to his own. He jokingly tells Emilia to sell them her eggs for a scant $10 million before finally advising her that they could have their own baby and, “If we don’t really like it, we can give it to them.”

From left:Jackson Pollock, 46 Carmine Street and Luis Ortiz

“The West Village is Poetry”: Luis has a new listing at 46 Carmine Street, which at first glance may see far less luxe than the usual properties showcased on the show, but turns out to be one of the most unusual. The seller, Bianca, bought this modest 800-square-foot one-bedroom for $27,000 in 1972! While it is in an old walk-up sans amenities it makes up for that with mad character, a garden courtyard and a well-lit loft workspace. Oh, and Jackson Pollock lived there during the height of career! The seller initially balks at the $1.25 million price tag, but acquiesces when Luis explains a low price is his tactic to incite a bidding war. He latches on the celeb angle making it “the epicenter of marketing” And Notes That The Street number “46” was Pollock’s favorite number. After his open house his “inbox is on fire” and he has six legit offers and begins working on pitting them against each other inciting everyone’s favorite pastime, “Bidding war!” Luis successfully gets the final offer up to $1.46 million in homage to Pollock and is thrilled he got his client over-ask and gave the rest of the world “a beautiful story.”

Derek Kaplan

Smooth like “baby ass”: Ryan is back with Robert Palmer addicted-to-love Arty, his Russian buyer with his gaggle of beauties, still looking for the perfect $20 million investment property that meets his requirements of being at the top of new construction and having the city’s best views. After his embarrassing last showing, Ryan tries to school Arty in the art of seriousness and implores him to leave his perfumed entourage at home. Bed jumping and tequila drinking at a high-end showing isn’t helping them garner any favor. Arty pushes back telling Ryan if he wants this job he has to loosen up, although he does agree to the stipulation for the next showing, which ends up being at the $2 million dollar sales office of 50 West Street. The only thing more disconcerting than Arty’s oafish behavior in saying the bathroom finish is as smooth as “baby ass” is Ryan’s DayGlo pink suit. He ends up lusting after the $19 million, 7,000-square-foot, nine-bedroom penthouse.

Arty flies Ryan off in a helicopter for the most shocking rose ceremony ever … at a race course. He tells Ryan he must race him around the track 10 times and if Ryan wins he will sign the contract for the penthouse at full ask. If Arty wins, he flies away from the deal. Arty ultimately lets Ryan win because he wants the penthouse.

“Sweat Like a Whore in Church”: Still hot off Fredrik asking for his fiancé’s eggs, Ryan has yet another bone to pick with him: The co-listing agreement is still not back from the lawyers. When Fredrik explains the joint listing is not going to happen, Ryan accuses Fredrik of being duplicitous and stealing his staging ideas when he has probably already gotten offers on the property. Fredrik assures him he hasn’t, but Ryan says he knows that Fredrik has “lied, cheated and stolen to get where he wants to be.” Fredrik goes it alone on the initial open house at 138 West 19th Street but the ultimate snafu is that the air conditioning doesn’t work. The $6 million penthouse is hot, but for all the wrong reasons. True to form, Fredrik takes his shirt off in front of his attendees because “a little bit of tan Swedish manskin never hurt anyone.” Apparently he was right because he sold all the unit save for the penthouse, but Erez, the developer decides to pull it off the market because he feels the market will only get hotter. The show closes with Fredrik cursing in his native language.