Last night’s episode of “Million Dollar Listing New York” was more about love — romantic and familial — than about real estate. Sure, there were still a few buildings thrown in as props in the background and idle chatter about price per square foot, along with a sprinkling of snowy mountain vistas thrown in for a real estate porn fix, but with a wedding and birth planning in the mix, we are made to care more about our stars’ personal lives than their professional ones.
Now onto the Real Housewives of New York City real estate:
“Let’s share that bitch like there’s no tomorrow”: Luis is fresh off a press win with multiple articles published about Cobble Hill. His tactic to lure international buyers to the last remaining Cobble Hill townhome in developer Gerard Longo’s project worked — so much so that even Longo’s go-to broker, the impossible Laura, is impressed. The two agents decide to team up —Thelma and Luis, if you will — and tag team potential buyers during showings. It goes swimmingly and Luis gets a slightly under-ask offer. A cat eager to drop a newly-caught mouse at his owner’s feet, Luis is ultimately disheartened to hear that Gerard’s team brought in a full-ask offer of their own which they have already accepted. Frown transference aside, Luis will still get paid and even though he “passed the ball” instead of shooting it, Gerard gives him props and says he will have consideration for future projects. Because he is neither planning on marrying or impregnating someone, Luis sets about interviewing for more team members to better assist clients.
“Wrap an Eklund bow on it”: “Million Dollar Listing” turns international when Fredrik returns to his native land to see his family and sell a winter vacation home in Sunset Peak in Are, the “Aspen of Northern Europe” where “Santa is going to be your next door neighbor” via his international firm Eklund Stockholm New York. True to form, he doesn’t wait for the actual open house to start showings and begins private viewings, explaining to the eager few that the kitchen island is “three Fredriks long” and that the property listed at roughly $1.4 million (and far more kroner) is a worthwhile status symbol. “Ski in, ski out” is quite literal and a big draw, although the prospective buyers still feel you can get a bigger bang for your buck in Italy. “Selling a house is a lot like dating,” Fredrik says, so he plies his guests with food and liquor in the hopes one will put in an offer.
More importantly, Fredrik and Derek are in town to announce they are in the works to have a daughter named Milla and make a unique offer of their own. Fredrik says his original goal was to be the No. 1 broker in the number one market. Having met that, his next is to be No. 1 father and unbelievable as it may sound, he is content to be second in the brokerage rankings. More significant than buildings are the ever-elusive eggs the couple needs to start their family. Fredrik will ask his best friend Anna if she would help them — only to be shocked to see her attend his chalet open house with a new boyfriend in tow. Dun, dun, dun.
“Tom Cruise did it, so I can do it”: Having sold all units save one at Yvonne’s East 82nd Street project, Ryan quickly settles business and sells the final one for an acceptable $4.5 million via Team Serhant phone and sets about to make his dream of shutting down Times Square a la “Vanilla Sky” to propose to Emilia. After a flurry of calls to various city officials, he lures Emilia to the area. As she realizes something is amiss she momentarily looks terrified, shaking and tears streaming. As a mini-orchestra plays, Ryan gets down on one knee, ring in hand, to start the “birth of a new life.” To top it all off, he has the marquee read: “I love you Puffer Munkin!” which is Emilia’s odd nickname. We are left wondering what it means, but thankfully we are not left wondering if she accepted. It’s a yes.