On this week’s episode of “Million Dollar Listing New York,” Ryan’s feeling funky (and not in a good way), Steve hunts for a buyer to lust after a seductive Soho pad and Fredrik fumbles a listing for Park Slope’s biggest townhouse.
Here’s where we left off.
Over and over and over again
Uh oh — it looks like it’s Ryan’s turn to have a real estate emergency.
To kick off last night’s episode, our bearded broker laments the repetitious routine he’s fallen into: gym, crappy breakfast, showings, office time, and kind of spending time with Emilia. It almost makes us feel bad for him and the lucrative career/fame he’s amassed these past few years. It’s as if he’s living in a less-funny version of Groundhog Day, where everyday feels like the same.
“Everything is great, but everything could be greater,” Ryan says.
Despite the monotony, Ryan loves the prospect of making money. Having perked up a bit, he meets with Yvonne, the developer behind 227 East 67th Street. Up for grabs are five units: three $4 million condos, a $5.5 million penthouse and an $8 million maisonette. But, of course, there’s a catch. Yvonne wants Ryan to team up with a female broker so she can share all of her female knowledge about schools and mom stuff. Moms and their needs! This person just so happens to be Amy Herman, the take-no-crap broker whom Ryan butted heads with last season. His shock and mild disgust is a bit confusing, considering she works for him now — also, as a member of his team, shouldn’t he know what she’s up to? It’s all so confusing.
This time around the two are getting along much better, most likely because they’re colleagues. Seriously, what is happening?! What’s not right is that Ryan is still feeling “stuck.” So much so that he visits a therapist to figure out what’s bugging him.
Sadly, it’s not such a quick fix.
A literal golden shower
Who’s that? No, really, who is that? Wait a minute, is that Steve… wearing a suit? It’s a miracle!
It took just 10 episodes and a $50 million apartment for Steve to button up a bit, though we’re sad to say he didn’t dress up for this show in particular. Newly-minted real estate broker Bradley Cooper (again, not the actor) drives Steve to check up on a past client. Sam, an interior designer, has just performed a $4 million renovation on a $6 million loft in Soho. The apartment is decked out with lavish finishes, and should most likely star in the next “50 Shades of Gray” movie. The place has a legitimate golden shower!
Innuendo and all, it’s hard to ignore the apartment’s craftsmanship — it’s something Steve appreciates as soon as he walks in the door. Sam, however, isn’t so sure about listing the apartment, considering he loves it like Christian Grey does Anastasia Steele. A $12 million asking price turns out to be too seductive for Sam, and Steve gets his way.
Sam’s attachment to the apartment doesn’t play well for Steve’s first showing. He hijacks the appointment, describing every little feature in-depth and scoffing at the thought that anyone would want to modify his masterpiece. Thankfully, Steve takes control of the situation and relegates Sam to the sideline. He finds a buyer from an unlikely source — Bradley Cooper’s dentist! Steve is a little hesitant to let the upstart and his client in the door, but thank goodness he does. They put down a full ask, all-cash offer and…
…and this is “MDLNY” of course! Nothing is that easy. Sam didn’t think this whole thing would happen so fast (he hasn’t even moved into the damn place!) and isn’t so sure he’s ready to give it up right now.
This apartment isn’t going anywhere (well, at least until next episode.)
Supersize me, Park Slope edition
It seems like Fredrik is setting himself up for failure, having agreed to work with Jeanne, who despite being a good friend, is almost impossible to please. And yet the 8,000-square-foot Park Slope brownstone she developed happens to be impossible to resist. Initially, she wants $16 million for the property, and it’s only after some negotiating that she’ll even consider $12.75 million — though Fredrik knows this price may be too high, and only agrees to it to please Jeanne.
“This house is too large for its own good,” Fredrik says.
If that were only true for every home in New York City!
Regardless, he trudges forward, hosting an open house where 100 brokers file into the master bathroom to prove how big it is. If on cue Jeanne shows up, collecting business cards and grilling Fredrik about why he hasn’t gotten an offer yet. Despite his best efforts, he doesn’t strike a deal at the open house, and Jeanne is none too pleased.
“You’re not giving me what I need,” she says. “I want a contract now.”
Fortunately Fredrik does nab a contract, but it’s for $10 million. Jeanne is predictably pissed, and tells Fredrik his work on the townhouse has turned out to be a “huge disappointment.” And just like that, she fires him. She says she needs to put their personal relationship aside to get the job done, but wow, that’s a pretty harsh way to treat a friend, Jeanne.
“I’m not firing you Fredrik,” Jeanne says. “You got yourself fired.”
Knife. Back. Twist!