Ho ho ho, ha ha ha: Watch Blackstone’s cringe holiday comedy video

Jon Gray poses as a version of Michael Scott in Blackstone's parody of "The Office"

TRD New York TRD WEEKEND EDITION /
Dec.December 23, 2018 09:00 AM

Stills from Blackstone’s “The Office” parody (Credit: Blackstone)

Blackstone Group had no company-wide holiday party this year, citing an inability to find a proper venue for the more than 1,000 New York employees at the world’s largest alternative investment firm.

But it did make a video.

In a five-minute parody of “The Office” sitcom, Blackstone employees give “private” interviews, getting a chance to express their displeasure over how plans for the annual festivities were bungled.

Shot in mock-documentary style, the video includes appearances from top executives like CEO Stephen Schwarzman and Executive Vice Chairman Tony James, and includes multiple jokes about the firm’s biggest real estate deal, the sale of Hilton Hotels for a $14 billion profit.

The video gives top billing to Blackstone’s Jonathan Gray,  who jumped into the role of president earlier this year. On screen, he mimics a boisterous boss everyone is fed up with, but also works extra hard to save the holiday party. “This firm is not going to lose its holiday spirit on my watch,” he says, standing in a conference room. It’s a far cry from the man who, in real life, once burst into an employee’s office demanding to know, “Where the fuck is Harry?” when Harry Macklowe missed a closing deadline by 15 minutes, according to Vicky Ward’s 2014 book, “Liar’s Ball.”

“I want the firm to love me,” Gray says in the video, appearing to be private equity’s answer to “The Office’s” Michael Scott, the blundering manager of the middling Scranton branch of paper merchant Dunder-Mifflin. It is precisely the kind of company Blackstone might have had targeted for a takeover, if it was real. [Blackstone] — Will Parker


Related Articles

arrow_forward_ios
Blackstone COO Jonathan Gray and Club Quarters Chicago at 111 W Adams Street (Getty, Google)

Blackstone misses payment on $274M hotel loan

Blackstone misses payment on $274M hotel loan
Blackstone’s Jonathan Gray

TRD Insights: Here’s how much tenants pay for space at Blackstone’s massive industrial portfolio

TRD Insights: Here’s how much tenants pay for space at Blackstone’s massive industrial portfolio
Blackstone’s Jonathan Gray, Starwood Capital Group’s Barry Sternlicht, and Oaktree Capital co-chairman Howard Marks (Getty)

“Phenomenal returns” for some distressed real estate investors in stocks

“Phenomenal returns” for some distressed real estate investors in stocks
Hudson Commons and 444 N. Michigan Ave. 

TRD Insights: Can CLOs recover from the pandemic?

TRD Insights: Can CLOs recover from the pandemic?
Blackstone's president Jonathan Gray and CEO Stephen Schwarzman (Credit: Gray via Drew Angerer/Getty Images; Schwarzman via Himanshu Bhatt/NurPhoto via Getty Images)

Blackstone: “We don’t need financing to get things done”

Blackstone: “We don’t need financing to get things done”
Blackstone’s Jonathan Gray and Starwood Capital Group’s Barry Sternlicht (Credit: Gray by  Drew Angerer/Getty Images; Sternlicht by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for 1 Hotels)

Blackstone, Starwood pick up stakes in Extended Stay America

Blackstone, Starwood pick up stakes in Extended Stay America
Clockwise from bottom left: 62-60 99th Street in Rego Park, 850-870 Third Avenue in Sunset Park and Square Mile Capital’s Craig Solomon with renderings of 550 Clinton Avenue in Brooklyn (Credit: Google Maps; Getty Images; Morris Adjmi Architects)

These were the top outer borough loans last month

These were the top outer borough loans last month
Blackstone's Jonathan Gray, Gaedeke Group's Sabine Gaedeke Stener and 44 Wall Street (Credit: Stener by Gaedeke Group; Gray by Drew Angerer/Getty Images, 44 Wall Street via Google Maps)

Blackstone sells office tower at 44 Wall Street for $200M

Blackstone sells office tower at 44 Wall Street for $200M
arrow_forward_ios

The Deal's newsletters give you the latest scoops, fresh headlines, marketing data, and things to know within the industry.

Loading...