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New York

What if New York City real estate brokers ran a bodega?

A screenshot from the Broker Bodega
A screenshot from the Broker Bodega

The Real Deal got a kick out of Broker Bodega, a new Tumblr, which recently started publishing photos of regular corner-store products with mock advertisements in the broker-speak regularly used on Craigslist. Below is a look at some of our favorites.

TROPICANA ORANGE JUICE

SUN-DRENCHED *PREMIUM* ORANGE JUICE!!! *** YOU’LL SWEAR [YOU’RE] IN ORANGE COUNTY *** CONCENTRATE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!! ($3800)

• Steps to the Vitamin-C train

• First month pulp-free!!!

BOUNTY PAPER TOWELS

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BREATHTAKING PAPER TOWELS WITH 33% MORE SHEETS!!! SPACIOUS ENOUGH TO ***SELECT YOUR OWN SIZE!*** YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO ABSORB YOUR EXCITEMENT!!! ($2625)

• Charming, exposed 2-ply design

• A sloppy eater’s DREAM!!

KLEENEX

*YOU’VE SEEN THE REST NOW PICK THE BEST! ***EXPERIENCE LUXURY THICKNESS AND ABSORBENCY THAT WILL BLOW YOU AWAY!!! ($3375)

• 3 pack, flex-5

• Lightly used