Aaron Kirman’s “Listing Impossible” is a beach house “sex dungeon”

CNBC’s new reality show about impossible listings follows Compass LA star broker, who has harsh words for one desperate homeowner

Aaron Kirman (Credit: Getty Images)
Aaron Kirman (Credit: Getty Images)

Los Angeles luxury agent Aaron Kirman has chosen to accept this mission: He must sell a $13.9 million “sandwich box” beach house that has been on the market for 1,000 days with zero offers. Its owner got the house as part of her divorce settlement and she is motivated to sell, but has cycled through three listings brokers before settling on Kirman. If he succeeds, the commission is a cool $347,500.

That’s the setup for the first episode of CNBC’s new real estate-focused reality show, “Listing Impossible,” which premiers Wednesday.

It follows Compass star broker Kirman as he tries to sell luxury homes in the L.A. area that have languished on the market. The show is timely, with some of the West Coast’s most expensive homes sitting for months, and as spec developers scramble to find buyers amid the softening market.

The show was actually first announced a year ago — it was supposed to air in May 2019 — as part of a package of real estate-focused programming that would occupy CNBC’s Thursday night lineup. It follows in the footsteps of Bravo’s “Million Dollar Listing” shows that have propelled the careers of celebrity brokers like Ryan Serhant and Fredrik Eklund.

The First 7: The Cold Box on the Beach from CNBC.

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In the seven-minute preview for the first episode of “Listing Impossible,” Kirman’s 60-plus-person team is pictured in their Beverly Hills office. The camera does quick cuts to one agent on her computer — dog in lap — then another deep in a forehead stress rub, and another bouncing on a mini trampoline, hands and head pointed to the ceiling. The luxury real estate world is no leisurely cruise along PCH, people.

After driving his Porsche convertible to the Dana Point beach house listing with agent Neyshia Go, Kirman sits down with the owner and doesn’t pull any punches. He calls her furniture “hideous,” and refers to one of the bedrooms as a “sex dungeon.”

“Everything is wrong with this room,” he tells her.

At one point, Kirman highlights how deck chairs are facing into the neighbor’s master bedroom and scolds his client: “You lost your $13 million moment on this.”

Kirman, one of the biggest brokers in L.A., placed fifth in The Real Deal’s 2019 ranking with more than $260 million sell-side deals. But he has also faced his share of troubled listings, including the infamous Mountain of Beverly Hills. That 157-acre parcel was asking $1 billion when Kirman first listed it in 2018. It finally sold in August in a foreclosure auction for $100,000.

Write to Erin Hudson at ekh@therealdeal.com