Being a broker isn’t always easy. Supposedly loyal clients can dump you, a million dollar commission can slip through your fingers or an eagerly anticipated open house can go horrendously wrong. But it is usually the latter that provides the most entertaining stories – at least for those not directly involved.
A recent cluster of thefts at open houses on the Upper East Side illustrated just how vulnerable sellers can be and underscored the need for broker vigilance. In this case, two women wearing disguises slipped into high-end open houses and made off with expensive jewelry, luggage and even a bottle of champagne. Needless to say, brokers at those open houses did not have a good day.
Here are the tales of other brokers who have also had less-than-stellar experiences at open houses.
Maid to order
Lawrence Rich, a vice president with Prudential Douglas Elliman, recently hosted an open house in a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment on the East Side. When he got there, “the owner was out, the music was playing, the lights were on and everything was in its place,” he said.
The first set of potential buyers soon arrived. He showed them the living room and kitchen, pointing out all the charms. When they reached the master bedroom, everything was right on schedule.
“But then, I opened the unlocked master bath door and saw the maid sitting on the toilet going to the bathroom,” said Rich. “She screamed, and the two men ran out of the apartment.”
Needless to say, they did not make an offer. Now, whenever Rich holds an open house, he makes a point of knocking on closed doors.
Sexy back
Holly Sose, a City Connections Realty senior associate, knew that the fourth-floor walk-up she was showing was the perfect apartment for someone who wanted to do a little redesigning.
When a gregarious client arrived, he immediately took to Sose’s boots, which he called “fierce,” and to the bathroom, which he called “sexy.”
“He said he wanted to knock out all the walls there and replace them with glass,” said Sose. “He then held onto the sink as if he was holding onto the hips of a person, began thrusting, moaning and screamed, ‘This is going to be a sexy bathroom.’” When he came out of the bathroom, he told her he would be in touch with his offer.
A week later, he called Sose and made her an offer – for a date. She declined.
Hide and seek
When DG Neary real estate agent Alison Rogers held an open house, hiding the tenant’s “bong-like sculpture” was like being in a Marx Brothers movie. Rogers, who works as a consultant for The Real Deal, put it away in one of the kitchen cabinets. “When buyers would go to open that cabinet, I had to make sure I opened another one first,” she said.
Marotta group principal broker Tamara Marotta had a similar game of open house hide-and-seek. Before hosting an open house for her client, a doctor, she had to make sure she hid his prominently displayed medical jars that included fetuses and brains.
Another broker, who asked to remain anonymous, took his client to an open house and saw an enormous roach in the doorway. “I lunged for the door trying to pretend like I was being a gentleman by opening the door,” he said. As he opened the door, he smashed the bug. His client was none the wiser.
Bad client
Sometimes, even if you’re the broker bringing your client to an open house, there is still an opportunity for mishaps.
Sose took her client to the open house of a $2.5 million loft in Chelsea. They had been in the apartment less than five minutes when they went into the bathroom, where the owner’s Labrador was sleeping near a mink footstool. “My client sat down on the floor Indian style and began playing with and riling up the dog, completely ignoring the broker’s speech for over five minutes,” said Sose.
“Then, all of a sudden, the dog peed on the mink footstool.” Sose’s client stood up, shocked, and said to the listing broker, “Dude, the dog just peed on the floor.” The client said nothing more and left the apartment.