Here are the 3 strangest items for sale in the Trump 2016 store

Trump Pom-Poms, anyone?

Donald Trump
Donald Trump

Donald Trump has sold many things over the course of his life: skyscrapers, ties, books. Now the Donald is running for president, and is selling some new things. Here are the three strangest items in Trump’s official presidential campaign online store:

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1. Trump red solo cups. Nothing fuels xenophobic rage like alcohol. (But this raises a serious question: has the Donald changed his definition of top-shelf and classy?)

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2. Trump megaphone. So you can yell at Mexicans from across the street.

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3. Trump Spirit Poms. Is this the Donald’s way of reaching out to female voters?

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And here are the top three items that inexplicably aren’t sold on Trump’s official presidential campaign online store:

Trump steaks

1. Trump Steaks. “Believe me, I understand steaks, they’re my favorite food!” said Donald Trump, and every Republican primary voter ever. Red-blooded conservatives love steaks. Why are you denying them, Donald? Is it possible they were produced in — gasp — Latin America?

Trump ties

2. Trump ties. Your target group here is tasteless, middle-aged white men. Your campaign appeals to tasteless, middle-aged white men. I’m no businessman, but this seems like a pretty obvious slam dunk.

Trump vodka

3. Trump Vodka. This would go perfectly with those nice red solo cups.