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What if the Statue of Liberty was a luxury condo conversion?

From LLNYC: “Hello muddled cocktails. Goodbye huddle masses.” That’s an invitation for you to “immigrate to luxury” at One Liberty — a hilarious (terrifyingly real) real estate parody website.

“Give us your inspired, your influencers, your trendsetter looking for the latest in luxury living spaces with bespoke interiors, stainless steel appliances and a 24-7 concierge,” the uncomfortably real ad copy reads.

One Liberty lampoons the real estate industry’s shameless, never-ceasing mission to degrade all that is holy in New York. And boy is it a low blow.

For instance, check out some of the amenities advertised.

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  • Access to our one-of-a-kind freshwater pool, source directly from pristine hudson (sic)
  • Experience the latest in transportation with uberferry™
  • Crowntop terrace available for parties
  • Spicy mustard™, a hot dog cart concept by David Chang
  • Laundry room on site!

What else… oh! The bro-ker team…

Meet Evan Krumholz and Connor Toole, both absolute pros. Krumholz was “named one of The Real Deal’s “Listed Brokers” in 2017,” and “provides white-glove service to his ultra-exclusive network of high net worth clients, which has included cast members from The Real Housewives of New York City, New Jersey and Beverly Hills.” His French bulldog is named Eklund!

Toole’s “first big break came when he transformed an unprofitable public housing project into a stunning luxury high-rise.”

We reached out to the creators and promise to get back to you with more details on the creation of this masterpiece.

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