“Million Dollar Listing New York”: Spare no costs and definitely don’t say sorry

Recap of Season 5, Episode 6

New York /
May.May 27, 2016 02:00 PM

On this week’s episode of “Million Dollar Listing New York,” our three heroes make one thing clear — they’re willing to do anything to get the job done.

Whether it’s crashing a top developer’s suite at a Nets game, tolerating a co-broker who absolutely despises every fiber of your being or dropping thousands of dollars to “become” a pop culture icon, our three heroes are ready and eager to put their pride aside and money on the table to hear the three most coveted words in real estate: “It’s a deal.”

Fredrik

Fresh off conquering Williamsburg, Fredrik sets his sights back on Noho, which, if you’ve heard, is definitely the new Soho. This time, he must “create a record that’s pretty tough to beat for a very long time” according to Madison Realty Capital’s Dan Cobleigh, whose firm commissioned Fredrik to market 1 Great Jones Alley. Dan wants $3,000 per square foot for his precious pads, but Fredrik ultimately sets the bar at a more reasonable $2,850 per square foot. The kitchens may have been carved alongside the Statue of David, but this development still ain’t the Schumacher.

Because he wants the open house to reflect the neighborhood’s artistic roots, Fredrik drops $9,000 to be transformed into Andy Warhol, though maybe he looks more like Meryl Streep’s character in “The Devil Wears Prada”? The Swedish-tinged Warhol shtick seems to work, and Fredrik’s method-acting lands him four sales right out of the gate. Dan is not impressed with the full-ask offers, however, and thinks the units were sold “way below” market value. “It makes no sense to give them away for free,” Dan says. “This is not what we’re in this business for.” And with a swoosh of his iMail inbox, Dan instantaneously raises the prices of the remaining 12 units by 5 percent. Apparently New York City real estate is so outrageous that $3 to $5 million apartments are considered “free.”

Ryan

Ryan is dealt good karma in the form of a new listing at the Jade, which Sherif, the buyer of the $15.5 million penthouse at 52 Cooper, is now trying to sell. There’s a catch, though. He must work with Amy, who is the “B” word women can never seem to get away with — bossy. Unmoved by his Wall Street Journal accolades and cheesy smile, Amy admits to Ryan that it was her boss’s idea to co-list, and not-so-gently reminds him that he needs to “remember that she was here first, k?” K.

The two spar over the initial listing price, until they settle on a $12.95 million ask. After an unfruitful open house, however, Sherif reaches out to Ryan (?) and suggests that they tweak the price a little bit (??). The two settle on a $2 million price cut, and even though a miracle seems to be unfolding before our very eyes, something seems to be missing… the critical glare and curt responses from Amy! When she catches wind that she wasn’t included in the conversation, she confronts Ryan at his office. She requests an apology, and in true Serhant fashion, Ryan issues his signature “sorry not sorry.” “I’m sorry that he called me, instead of calling you!” Ryan says. When will he learn not to throw stones in glass offices? Maybe on his other Bravo show!

Luis

Luis fails his first attempt to get back Schedule A pricing at 111 Murray. Howard Lorber, who’s not only Luis’ boss but a co-developer on the project, says he didn’t do right by anybody by negotiating the initial asking price. ”There’s no way a developer is going to discount one of the first units he sells, there’s no need to do it, it doesn’t make any sense,” Lorber says. While the big boss man can’t help, Luis does have one last chance to erase the 5 percent premium placed on the pad. But he must bow before Steve Witkoff, who, according to Luis, is god of all things real estate.

Witkoff is too busy basking in the glory of 150 Charles for an in-person meeting with Luis. The only way the two can meet face-to-face is at a Nets game the next day, which Witkoff will be attending alongside Lorber before he jets out of the country. Luis pulls up short with his initial request, but soon proves to Witkoff that his client is a “very legitimate buyer” who’s known to purchase units in the pre-construction phase. Though Luis is over the moon about the price reduction, reality sets in when he arrives back at his pad and has nobody to celebrate with. “Everything seems so exciting, but it’s so quiet at the same time” Luis says. “You know, I wish I had somebody to celebrate this with — I’ve been so busy I haven’t had the time — it’s time for me, time for me to look for her.”

Even a $13.75 million listing can’t erase the fact the “1” is still the loneliest number.


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